Positive Expectations

One of the best lessons I learned working as a Montessori Preschool Teacher was the effectiveness of being positive. During Montessori training, I was re-taught how to speak with children. I have three simple rules of what 'being positive' entails:

1. It is more important to tell the student what they are expected to do than it is to tell them what not to do. For example, if you want the child to follow the classroom rule of speaking softly inside, it makes more sense to say to the child in a soft voice, "speak quietly, please" instead of screaming, "no talking!" (This is also an example for acting purposefully, and behaving like the student you would want the children to mimic.) It can be acceptable, at times, to use negative words like "don't" and "no" as long as you follow it with what is to be expected of the students.

2. Children will strive to achieve what you tell them they can achieve. High expectations are key, here. If a teacher tells a student they are "bad" or "stupid," that child, desperately seeking the teacher's approval, will subsequently live up to that label. However, if a teacher tells a student that they are "smart" and "a good student" than they will reach to achieve that label, too.

3. Only give a child tangible encouragement. For example, never tell a child their work is beautiful. (You could only understand this rule if you truly understand and accept Rule #2.) With the understanding that children often perceive themselves the way other adults perceive them, it is also important to instill in them their own positive thinking skills and self-esteem. This being said, when a child asks you about their artwork, do not tell them it is beautiful. Instead, point out what you DO see: "Wow! I see you used a lot of blue today!" "I can tell you've been working hard on that!" When all else fails, and you're at a loss for encouraging words, simply ask the child "Well, what do you think about your work?" "Do you like it?" "What makes this special to you?"